A farmer outside of Ann Arbor was working his cattle one day when he
heard faint music coming from nearby. After hunting about for a time,
he discovered the sound was loudest near one particular calf, and was
even louder near the calf's tail. Putting his head close to the calf's
hind end, he heard the University of Michigan 's fight song
Amazed, he put the calf in the truck and drove the animal to a vet in
Ann Arbor . When the vet asked him what was going on, the farmer told
him. The vet went around behind the calf and gave a listen. He
casually agreed and when he heard the University of Michigan 's fight
song he didn't seem particularly excited.
"Man, this is unbelievable! How can you stand there and not be amazed?"
the farmer asked. The vet, a third generation Ohio State University
graduate, said, "Hell, Bud, I'm a Buckeye and I've been listening to
assholes sing that song my whole life."
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
BUCKEYE FAN AND PRIEST
Buckeye Fans and Priests
We Ohio State fans amuse ourselves by scaring every Michigan fan we see strutting down the street with that obnoxious maze & blue "M" on his shirt. We would swerve our vans as if to hit them, and then swerve back just missing them.
One day, while driving along, I saw a priest. I thought I would do a good deed so I pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going Father?"
"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"
The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we
continued down the road. Suddenly, I saw a Michigan fan walking down the road, with that "M"shirt on and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him.But, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD."
Not understanding where the noise came from, I glanced in my mirrors but still didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest, and turned to the priest and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Michigan fan.
"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."
GO BUCKS
Sunday, November 15, 2009
OHIO STATE FAN
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Michigan Wolverine fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Michigan fans too. Not really knowing what a Michigan fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception. A little girl named Tara has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asked her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Michigan fan" she reports.
"Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Ohio State Buckeye fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed, her face slightly red. She asks little Tara why she is an OSU fan.
"Well, my Dad and Mom are Buckeye fans, so I'm a Buckeye fan too" she responds. The teacher is angry now.
"That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot, what would you be then?"
Tara smiled and says, "Then I'd be a Michigan fan."
Saturday, November 14, 2009
BUCKEYE JOKE
A graduate from Ohio State , a graduate from Michigan and a pig were in the hospital waiting room, each awaiting the birth of his first child. Suddenly, the lights went out. Fortunately, power was restored shortly thereafter and the head nurse made her way to the waiting room.
"I've got good news and bad news, gentlemen and pig," she announced. "Despite the electrical outage, two healthy boys and one healthy piglet have been delivered. However, since the lights went out at the most inopportune time, we aren't sure which first-born belongs to whom. The only way we know to resolve the problem is to draw straws and have the winner choose first."
The three proud papas agreed and the Ohio grad won the drawing. He was escorted into the delivery room and looked at the three
newborns for a painstakingly long time. Finally, with head bowed, he scooped up the piglet and headed for the door.
“Sir, are you quite certain that you've made the right choice," the nurse asked. "No, I'm not," replied the Buckeye grad. "But I just couldn't run the risk of ending up with the Michigan kid."
Friday, November 13, 2009
BUCKEYE JOKE
A graduate from Ohio State , a graduate from Michigan and a pig were in the hospital waiting room, each awaiting the birth of his first child. Suddenly, the lights went out. Fortunately, power was restored shortly thereafter and the head nurse made her way to the waiting room.
"I've got good news and bad news, gentlemen and pig," she announced. "Despite the electrical outage, two healthy boys and one healthy piglet have been delivered. However, since the lights went out at the most inopportune time, we aren't sure which first-born belongs to whom. The only way we know to resolve the problem is to draw straws and have the winner choose first."
The three proud papas agreed and the Ohio grad won the drawing. He was escorted into the delivery room and looked at the three
newborns for a painstakingly long time. Finally, with head bowed, he scooped up the piglet and headed for the door.
“Sir, are you quite certain that you've made the right choice," the nurse asked. "No, I'm not," replied the Buckeye grad. "But I just couldn't run the risk of ending up with the Michigan kid."
Thursday, November 12, 2009
WHAT DOES YOUR DADDY DO FOR A LIVING?
Little Ashley was in her 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up-- fireman, policeman, salesman, etc... Ashley was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked her about her father.
My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and do strange things with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Ashley aside to ask her, Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Ashley, "He plays for the Cleveland Browns, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and do strange things with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Ashley aside to ask her, Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Ashley, "He plays for the Cleveland Browns, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
VETERAN'S DAY
Today is Veteran's Day. Thank a Veteran for their service to our country. There really is nothing funny about that, but it is important, for without them, we would not have the freedoms that we enjoy today.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
HAPPY THANKSGIVING - 2
TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS,
I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.
THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POT A TOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone
BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS,
I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.
THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POT A TOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone
Monday, November 9, 2009
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS,
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER
STAY OFF YOUR THIGHS
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS,
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER
STAY OFF YOUR THIGHS
Sunday, November 8, 2009
THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY ON THANKSGIVING
01. Talk about a huge breast!
02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
03. It's Cool Whip time!
04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
05. That's one terrific spread!
06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
07. A re you ready for seconds yet?
08. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
03. It's Cool Whip time!
04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
05. That's one terrific spread!
06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
07. A re you ready for seconds yet?
08. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
THANKSGIVING
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving
and says," I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother
and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the
sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other,
and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and
tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like
heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this," She
calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting
divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother
back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU
HE A R ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up the phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he
says,"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way
and says," I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother
and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the
sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other,
and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and
tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like
heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this," She
calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting
divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother
back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU
HE A R ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up the phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he
says,"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way
Friday, November 6, 2009
HMMMMMMMM
He laid her on the table
so white, clean and bare.
His forehead wet, with beads of sweat,
he rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast,
and then drooling, felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide... he looked inside,
all was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands,
stretched out his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.
May I be the first to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving !
so white, clean and bare.
His forehead wet, with beads of sweat,
he rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast,
and then drooling, felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide... he looked inside,
all was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands,
stretched out his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.
May I be the first to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving !
Thursday, November 5, 2009
THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING
T'was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the kitchen,
I was cooking and baking and moanin' and bitchin'.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest,
this rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"
He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet??"
As quick as a flash I reach for a knife; He loses an earlobe, I wanted his life!
He flees from the room in terror and pain ,and screams
"MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE !!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell ?
Oh, shit, it's the pies !! They're burned all to hell !!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong ?? Is there still more ahead ??
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.
Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, If I live till next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn't work,
I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!
I was cooking and baking and moanin' and bitchin'.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest,
this rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"
He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet??"
As quick as a flash I reach for a knife; He loses an earlobe, I wanted his life!
He flees from the room in terror and pain ,and screams
"MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE !!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell ?
Oh, shit, it's the pies !! They're burned all to hell !!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong ?? Is there still more ahead ??
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.
Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, If I live till next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn't work,
I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
THE PARROT
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had
a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John
tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite
words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to
"clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot
yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier
and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put
him in the freezer. For a few Minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and
screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute.
Fearing that he hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms
and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language
and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions
and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to
ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John
tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite
words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to
"clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot
yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier
and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put
him in the freezer. For a few Minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and
screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute.
Fearing that he hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms
and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language
and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions
and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to
ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
PREGNANT TURKEY
I know there are some hunters reading this one!! So what a horrible trick to play on someone!
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!
Monday, November 2, 2009
TURKEY TRIVIA QUIZ
TURKEY TRIVIA QUIZ
http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp
You may have to cut and paste this into your browser.
http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp
You may have to cut and paste this into your browser.
JUST THINK!
If the Indians had given the Pilgrim fathers
a donkey instead of a turkey,
we all would be having a piece of ass
for Thanksgiving.
a donkey instead of a turkey,
we all would be having a piece of ass
for Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
INDEX OF JOKES ON THIS SITE
Last updated: 5/1/10
Note: dates of jokes appear beginning 3/28/10.
ANIMALS
Animal Revenge
How to Wash a Toilet
BLONDE
Another Blonde Joke (3/3/10)
Corn Maze for Blondes
Naked Cowboy
Pass Word
Pregnant Turkey
CHRISTMAS
12 Days of Christmas
Angels Explained by Children
Christmas Carol Parrot
A Christmas Song from Indiana U.
A Christmas Story
Dear Santa
Fruit Cake Depression
Holiday Message
Hunters Beware
Match the Dogs
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to All
OOOOPPPPS! ! !
Remember This at Christmastime
Rival Tree Balls
Santa Has a Big Problem
Santa's Jigsaw
Santa's Problem With Newer Architecture
Santa's Reindeer Orchestra
Santa's Troubles
Tiger's Visit to Santa
White Christmas (or New Year's)
Why is a Christmastree better than a man?
Who Shot Santa?
Woods Holiday Poem
EASTER
Easter Funnies (4/4/10)
Happy Easter From the Dog (4/3/10)
No Joke Today (4/1/10)
Sore Butt (4/2/10)
FALL (Coming Soon)
KIDS
A Favorite Mother's Day Story (5/9/10)
Angels Explained by Children
Big People Words
Generation "Y"
Kids Say the Cutest Things
Little Johnny at it Again
Little Johnny at it Again: 2 (4/8/10)
Out of the Mouths of Babes
Tough Love VS Spanking: A Good Argument
The Haircut (3/29/10)
Through the Eyes of a Young'in
What Does Your Daddy do for a Living?
Why Boys Need Parents
Why Teachers Drink: 1
Why Teachers drink: 2
MARRIAGE
Cake or Bed
Financial Planning at its Best
Hunting Season
No Speak English
Kite Flying (4/11/10)
Sheer Negligees Can be Fatal (5/8/10)
Wally's Wedding Night
Wedding Ring Exchange Fail
What is Celibacy?
Who's Your Real Friend?
MEDICAL
Colonoscopy Journal
Fred (4/10/10)
The Good Nurse
Ole in Deluth
Rubber Gloves
The Dentist (4/16/10)
MEN
Computer Joke
Financial Planning at its Best
Geography of Men and Women
Naked Cowboy
Things Men Notice When they are Over 60
Why Boys Need Parents
Why Men are Never Depressed
Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns
MISCELANEOUS
Airline Announcements
Be Careful When you Fart
Computer Repair (4/26/10)
Chinese Sick Leave (4/20/10)
Choking in the South
Frozen Carburetor
How to Install a Home Security System
How to Save the Airlines (4/6/10)
Kodak Moments: 1 (5/10/10)
Michaelangelo's David Returns to Italy
Most Functional English Word
Newspaper Articles: 1 (5/1/10)
Newspaper Articles: 2 (5/2/10)
Newspaper Articles: 3 (5/3/10)
Newspaper Articles: 4 (5/4/10)
Newspaper Articles: 5 (5/5/10)
Newspaper Articles: 6 (5/6/10)
Newspaper Articles: 7 (5/7/10)
O CRAP! ! 1 (4/12/10)
O CRAP! ! 2 (4/13/10)
O Crap! ! 3 (4/14/10)
Ole and Sven (4/20/10)
Oxymorons
People of Walmart: 1
People of Walmart: 2
People of Walmart: 3
Potatoe Postitute
Puns for the Educated (4/25/10)
Shortest Books I Know
Signs of the Times: 1
Signs of the Times: 2
Some Points to Ponder (4/29/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 1 (4/18/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 2 (4/19/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 3 (4/20/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 4 (4/21/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 5 (4/22/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 6 (4/23/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 7 (4/24/10)
Urgent Warning
Weather Forecast
Words of Witdom (4/6/10)
MUSIC
Two Men playing One Flute - J.s. Bach Badineri
Yamaha Recall (4/9/10)
NAUGHTY
Just Think!
No Speak English
OLD AGE
Dr. Seuss on Old Age
Elderly Road Trip
Getting Older (4/7/10)
Rubber Gloves
Sad but True Facts
Softball in Heaven
Things Men Notice When they are Over 60
Through the Eyes of a Young'in
Wally's Wedding Night
Wow! I'm Rich!
OSU / MICHIGAN
Buckeye Fan and Priest
Buckeye Joke
Buckeye Mortician
Go Bucks
Laundry
Michigan Jokes
Ohio State Fan
U of M Fight Song
POLITICAL
Baskin Robins New Ice Cream Flavor (4/17/10)
Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Putin
Constipation
Dead Mule (3/31/10)
Economic Indicators
Please Pay Your Taxes (4/15/10)
Political Cartoons: Part 1
Political Cartoons: Part 2
Political Cartoons: Part 3
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi
Presidents in Art
Remember
Remember John Hinkley?
Sarah Palin and the Pope
Simple Task of Removing Splinters (5/4/10)
Sweatin' With the Socialists
The President on Health Care and You
What a Great Year 2009 Was (4/27/10)
RELIGION
Angels Explained by Children
Church Sign
For Catholics Only
Lent Song
Liturgy Thoughts
New Pastor
Perils of a Catholic Upbringing
Pope Makes Changes in Mass (4/28/09)
The Haircut (3/29/10)
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi
Sarah Palin and the Pope
SPORTS
Ball Game (4/5/10)
Bottle of Merlot
He Makes Money Coming and. . .
Little Johnny at it Again
Testicle Thearapy (4/29/10)
Tiger's New Look
Tiger Woods Driving Range Game (3/30/10)
What a Great Year 2009 Was (4/27/10)
What Does Your Daddy do for a Living?
SPRING
A Favorite Mother's Day Story (5/9/10)
Ball Game (4/5/10)
Please Pay Your Taxes (4/15/10)
ST. PATTY'S DAY
Another Dream Shattered
Bill and Tom
Crowds Panic as Floods Threaten Ireland
Dying Irish Nun
Irish Catholics
Irish Humor
Irish Joke
Irish Jokes
Irishman in an English Store
Murphy's Pub
The Irishman and the Mormon
SUMMER (Coming Soon)
THANKSGIVING
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving - 2
Hmmmmm
Just Think!
The Night Before Thanksgiving
The Parrott
Pregnant Turkey
Thanksgiving
Things you can only say on Thanksgiving
Turkey Trivia Quiz
ST. VALENTINE'S DAY
Inspirations for your Valentine Day Cards
Little Thelma
Valentine's Day
Valentine Day Puppy
Valentine's You Don't Want to See
WAR
Gay Terrorist
Little Thelma
Navy Catch & Release Program for Terrorists (4/27/10)
Tales of Islamic Extremists Motherhood (4/13/10)
Two Iranian Spies
You Might be a Taliban Fighter if. . .
WINTER
Church Sign
Cigars and Snowmen
How Ice Cream Cones are Made
Frosty's Nose
Snow Men Being Robbed
Snowmen Laughs: 1
Snowmen Laughs: 2
Snowmen Laughs: 3
Snow Sex
Those are Fake!
Winter Poem
Yikes! !
Yuck! !
WOMEN
Computer Joke
Financial Planning at its Best
Geography of Men and Women
Quote of the Day: Women
Note: dates of jokes appear beginning 3/28/10.
ANIMALS
Animal Revenge
How to Wash a Toilet
BLONDE
Another Blonde Joke (3/3/10)
Corn Maze for Blondes
Naked Cowboy
Pass Word
Pregnant Turkey
CHRISTMAS
12 Days of Christmas
Angels Explained by Children
Christmas Carol Parrot
A Christmas Song from Indiana U.
A Christmas Story
Dear Santa
Fruit Cake Depression
Holiday Message
Hunters Beware
Match the Dogs
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to All
OOOOPPPPS! ! !
Remember This at Christmastime
Rival Tree Balls
Santa Has a Big Problem
Santa's Jigsaw
Santa's Problem With Newer Architecture
Santa's Reindeer Orchestra
Santa's Troubles
Tiger's Visit to Santa
White Christmas (or New Year's)
Why is a Christmastree better than a man?
Who Shot Santa?
Woods Holiday Poem
EASTER
Easter Funnies (4/4/10)
Happy Easter From the Dog (4/3/10)
No Joke Today (4/1/10)
Sore Butt (4/2/10)
FALL (Coming Soon)
KIDS
A Favorite Mother's Day Story (5/9/10)
Angels Explained by Children
Big People Words
Generation "Y"
Kids Say the Cutest Things
Little Johnny at it Again
Little Johnny at it Again: 2 (4/8/10)
Out of the Mouths of Babes
Tough Love VS Spanking: A Good Argument
The Haircut (3/29/10)
Through the Eyes of a Young'in
What Does Your Daddy do for a Living?
Why Boys Need Parents
Why Teachers Drink: 1
Why Teachers drink: 2
MARRIAGE
Cake or Bed
Financial Planning at its Best
Hunting Season
No Speak English
Kite Flying (4/11/10)
Sheer Negligees Can be Fatal (5/8/10)
Wally's Wedding Night
Wedding Ring Exchange Fail
What is Celibacy?
Who's Your Real Friend?
MEDICAL
Colonoscopy Journal
Fred (4/10/10)
The Good Nurse
Ole in Deluth
Rubber Gloves
The Dentist (4/16/10)
MEN
Computer Joke
Financial Planning at its Best
Geography of Men and Women
Naked Cowboy
Things Men Notice When they are Over 60
Why Boys Need Parents
Why Men are Never Depressed
Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns
MISCELANEOUS
Airline Announcements
Be Careful When you Fart
Computer Repair (4/26/10)
Chinese Sick Leave (4/20/10)
Choking in the South
Frozen Carburetor
How to Install a Home Security System
How to Save the Airlines (4/6/10)
Kodak Moments: 1 (5/10/10)
Michaelangelo's David Returns to Italy
Most Functional English Word
Newspaper Articles: 1 (5/1/10)
Newspaper Articles: 2 (5/2/10)
Newspaper Articles: 3 (5/3/10)
Newspaper Articles: 4 (5/4/10)
Newspaper Articles: 5 (5/5/10)
Newspaper Articles: 6 (5/6/10)
Newspaper Articles: 7 (5/7/10)
O CRAP! ! 1 (4/12/10)
O CRAP! ! 2 (4/13/10)
O Crap! ! 3 (4/14/10)
Ole and Sven (4/20/10)
Oxymorons
People of Walmart: 1
People of Walmart: 2
People of Walmart: 3
Potatoe Postitute
Puns for the Educated (4/25/10)
Shortest Books I Know
Signs of the Times: 1
Signs of the Times: 2
Some Points to Ponder (4/29/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 1 (4/18/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 2 (4/19/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 3 (4/20/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 4 (4/21/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 5 (4/22/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 6 (4/23/10)
This is What Happens When You Play With Your Food: 7 (4/24/10)
Urgent Warning
Weather Forecast
Words of Witdom (4/6/10)
MUSIC
Two Men playing One Flute - J.s. Bach Badineri
Yamaha Recall (4/9/10)
NAUGHTY
Just Think!
No Speak English
OLD AGE
Dr. Seuss on Old Age
Elderly Road Trip
Getting Older (4/7/10)
Rubber Gloves
Sad but True Facts
Softball in Heaven
Things Men Notice When they are Over 60
Through the Eyes of a Young'in
Wally's Wedding Night
Wow! I'm Rich!
OSU / MICHIGAN
Buckeye Fan and Priest
Buckeye Joke
Buckeye Mortician
Go Bucks
Laundry
Michigan Jokes
Ohio State Fan
U of M Fight Song
POLITICAL
Baskin Robins New Ice Cream Flavor (4/17/10)
Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Putin
Constipation
Dead Mule (3/31/10)
Economic Indicators
Please Pay Your Taxes (4/15/10)
Political Cartoons: Part 1
Political Cartoons: Part 2
Political Cartoons: Part 3
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi
Presidents in Art
Remember
Remember John Hinkley?
Sarah Palin and the Pope
Simple Task of Removing Splinters (5/4/10)
Sweatin' With the Socialists
The President on Health Care and You
What a Great Year 2009 Was (4/27/10)
RELIGION
Angels Explained by Children
Church Sign
For Catholics Only
Lent Song
Liturgy Thoughts
New Pastor
Perils of a Catholic Upbringing
Pope Makes Changes in Mass (4/28/09)
The Haircut (3/29/10)
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi
Sarah Palin and the Pope
SPORTS
Ball Game (4/5/10)
Bottle of Merlot
He Makes Money Coming and. . .
Little Johnny at it Again
Testicle Thearapy (4/29/10)
Tiger's New Look
Tiger Woods Driving Range Game (3/30/10)
What a Great Year 2009 Was (4/27/10)
What Does Your Daddy do for a Living?
SPRING
A Favorite Mother's Day Story (5/9/10)
Ball Game (4/5/10)
Please Pay Your Taxes (4/15/10)
ST. PATTY'S DAY
Another Dream Shattered
Bill and Tom
Crowds Panic as Floods Threaten Ireland
Dying Irish Nun
Irish Catholics
Irish Humor
Irish Joke
Irish Jokes
Irishman in an English Store
Murphy's Pub
The Irishman and the Mormon
SUMMER (Coming Soon)
THANKSGIVING
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving - 2
Hmmmmm
Just Think!
The Night Before Thanksgiving
The Parrott
Pregnant Turkey
Thanksgiving
Things you can only say on Thanksgiving
Turkey Trivia Quiz
ST. VALENTINE'S DAY
Inspirations for your Valentine Day Cards
Little Thelma
Valentine's Day
Valentine Day Puppy
Valentine's You Don't Want to See
WAR
Gay Terrorist
Little Thelma
Navy Catch & Release Program for Terrorists (4/27/10)
Tales of Islamic Extremists Motherhood (4/13/10)
Two Iranian Spies
You Might be a Taliban Fighter if. . .
WINTER
Church Sign
Cigars and Snowmen
How Ice Cream Cones are Made
Frosty's Nose
Snow Men Being Robbed
Snowmen Laughs: 1
Snowmen Laughs: 2
Snowmen Laughs: 3
Snow Sex
Those are Fake!
Winter Poem
Yikes! !
Yuck! !
WOMEN
Computer Joke
Financial Planning at its Best
Geography of Men and Women
Quote of the Day: Women
THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG
The purpose of this site is to make people laugh and have fun! !
Life is too short to be serious all the time. Having a rough day? Need a laugh? Log on here and read (or view) some jokes. Have a laugh or two. . . or three . . . or four . . . or however many you want!
This site is a collection of jokes and laughs that have made their way through the Internet and found their way in people's email boxes over the years. Perhaps, you have received some of these in your email box over the years as well. Feel free to share your jokes with us by sending them to jokesandlaughs2009@yahoo.com . We'll post them up on the site. WE WILL NOT POST ANY FOUL OR X-RATED JOKES! ! However, we will from time to time post some "Naughty" jokes which are the ones that do not cross the foul or X-rated line. This is a clean site.
Since these jokes have been floating around the Internet for years, there is no copyright to them. So if you need to use any of them to send, feel free to do so. Just tell your family and friends (and enemies) about this site. The more people that log on and share, the better!
Our goal is to put at least one new joke on every day. So log on daily to get your daily dose of laughs!
So read, view, laugh, and HAVE FUN! ! !
Life is too short to be serious all the time. Having a rough day? Need a laugh? Log on here and read (or view) some jokes. Have a laugh or two. . . or three . . . or four . . . or however many you want!
This site is a collection of jokes and laughs that have made their way through the Internet and found their way in people's email boxes over the years. Perhaps, you have received some of these in your email box over the years as well. Feel free to share your jokes with us by sending them to jokesandlaughs2009@yahoo.com . We'll post them up on the site. WE WILL NOT POST ANY FOUL OR X-RATED JOKES! ! However, we will from time to time post some "Naughty" jokes which are the ones that do not cross the foul or X-rated line. This is a clean site.
Since these jokes have been floating around the Internet for years, there is no copyright to them. So if you need to use any of them to send, feel free to do so. Just tell your family and friends (and enemies) about this site. The more people that log on and share, the better!
Our goal is to put at least one new joke on every day. So log on daily to get your daily dose of laughs!
So read, view, laugh, and HAVE FUN! ! !
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)