Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
IRISH GHOST STORY
This happened in Dublin, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock story, it's true.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. No cars were traveling that night. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stop. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road. So, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to the pub.
Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and....wasn't drunk.
Suddenly the door opened and two other people walked in from the stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other..."Look Paddy...there's that idiot that got in the car while we were pushin' it!!"
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. No cars were traveling that night. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stop. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road. So, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to the pub.
Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and....wasn't drunk.
Suddenly the door opened and two other people walked in from the stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other..."Look Paddy...there's that idiot that got in the car while we were pushin' it!!"
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
WHEN PUMPKINS DRINK
NEVER KNEW A PUMPKIN THAT DRANK TOO MUCH...BUT A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. . .
Sunday, October 24, 2010
NEW STAMP
Stamp Malfunction
The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it.
The Postal Service noticed that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the glue.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
CHECK YOUR MAIL! !
Just wanted to let you know - today I received my 2010 Obama Stimulus Package.
It contained two watermelon seeds, cornbread mix, and 10 Coupons to KFC. The directions were in Spanish.
Hope you get yours soon.
It contained two watermelon seeds, cornbread mix, and 10 Coupons to KFC. The directions were in Spanish.
Hope you get yours soon.
Friday, October 22, 2010
OCEANVIEW RESTAURANT
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that street.
10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute guys.
10 years later, the group of 35-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.
10 years later, the group of 45-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big and the waiters had tight pants and nice buns.
10 years later, the group of 55-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good, the restaurant had windows that opened (in case of a hot flashes), and fish is good for cholesterol.
10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good and the restaurant had an early bird special.
10 years later, the group of 75-years-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped-accessible.
10 years later, the group of 85-years-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute guys.
10 years later, the group of 35-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.
10 years later, the group of 45-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big and the waiters had tight pants and nice buns.
10 years later, the group of 55-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good, the restaurant had windows that opened (in case of a hot flashes), and fish is good for cholesterol.
10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good and the restaurant had an early bird special.
10 years later, the group of 75-years-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped-accessible.
10 years later, the group of 85-years-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
WHERE TO PUT OBAMA'S PICTURE
George Washington, our nation's first president and leader of the American Revolution!
Abe Lincoln, honorable leader pulled our nation through its darkest time!
Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first secretary of the treasure and leader of the constitutional convention!
Andrew Jackson, "Old Hickory " fought the British in New Orleans !
Ulysses Grant, Union army general, lead the North through the Civil War!
Ben Franklin, Genius inventor, political theorist and leading author of the constitution.
(Scroll down)
Abe Lincoln, honorable leader pulled our nation through its darkest time!
Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first secretary of the treasure and leader of the constitutional convention!
Andrew Jackson, "Old Hickory " fought the British in New Orleans !
Ulysses Grant, Union army general, lead the North through the Civil War!
Ben Franklin, Genius inventor, political theorist and leading author of the constitution.
(Scroll down)
Finally, we have someone to put on the food stamp!!!!!!!
Obama's policies will put more people on welfare than any president before him so this placement is most appropriate. Unlike the Nobel Peace Prize, for which he did nothing, this is an "honor" he richly deserves.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
LESSON 1 & LESSON 2
Lesson No. 1 for Today:
Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the greener pastures......
In the process, we end up in trouble........
And when you find yourself in trouble, there is one thing you should remember.......
Lesson #2
Not everyone who shows up........
Is there to help you!!!!
Sometimes, we try too hard to get to the greener pastures......
In the process, we end up in trouble........
And when you find yourself in trouble, there is one thing you should remember.......
Lesson #2
Not everyone who shows up........
Is there to help you!!!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
FEATS OF ENGINEERING - 5
No skatepark in town? I can fix that!
Cables falling behind the desk? I can fix that! (this one is almost useful!)
Exhaust pipe dragging? I can fix that!
Cables falling behind the desk? I can fix that! (this one is almost useful!)
Exhaust pipe dragging? I can fix that!
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Desk overloaded? I can fix that!
Desk overloaded? I can fix that!
Car can't be ordered with the "Woody " option? I can fix that!
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