Tuesday, August 21, 2012


 1.  Jesus loves you…but everyone else thinks you are an ass

2.  Impotence…Nature’s way to say “No hard feelings”

3.  The proctologist called…they found your head

4.  Everyone has a photographic memory…some just don’t have any film

5.  Save your breath…you’ll need it to blow up your date

6.  Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted

7.  I used to have a handle on life…but it broke off

8.  WANTED:  Meaningful overnight relationship

9.  Guys…just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to be one

10.  Some people just don’t know how to drive…I call these people “Everybody But Me”

11.  Heart Attacks…God’s revenge for eating His animal friends

12.  Don’t like my driving?  Then quit watching me

13.  If you can read this…I can slam on my brakes and sue you

14.  Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

15.  Try not to let your mind wander…It is too small and fragile to be out by itself


17.  Welcome to America…now speak English

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