Monday, February 28, 2011

CATHOLIC SECRETS

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.


BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to
lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of
the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since
most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good
basketball teams.

JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides
gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO.
(The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of
altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by
parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when
to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a
pew

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Friday, February 25, 2011

WHY OUR GREAT GRANDPARENTS HAVE SUCH FOND MEMORIES OF THEIR YOUTH

I'm surprised they remembered anything! !



A BOTTLE OF BAYER'S HEROIN:Between 1890 and 1910 heroin was sold as a non-addictive substitute for morphine.It was also used to treat children suffering with a strong cough.





COCA WINE:
Metcalf's Coca Wine was one of a huge variety of wines with cocaine on the market. Everybody used to say that it would make you happy and it would also work as a medicinal treatment.

MARIANI WINE:
Mariani wine (1875) was the most famous Coca wine of its time.
Pope Leo XIII used to carry one bottle with him all the time. He awarded Angelo Mariani (the producer) with a Vatican gold medal.

MALTINE:
Produced by the Maltine Manufacturing Company of New York . It was suggested that you should take a full glass with or after every meal. Children should only take half a glass.


A PAPERWEIGHT:
A paperweight promoting C.F. Boehringer & Soehne ( Mannheim , Germany ).
They were proud of being the biggest producers in the world of products containing Quinine and Cocaine.



OPIUM FOR ASTHAM:
At 40% alcohol plus 3 grams of opium per tablet,it didn't cure you, but you didn't care...




COCAINE TABLETS (1900):
All stage actors, singers, teachers and preachers had to have them for a maximum performance. Great to 'smooth' the voice.




COCAINE DROPS FOR TOOTHACHE:
Very popular for children in 1885. Not only did they relieve the pain, they made the children very happy!




OPIUM FOR NEWBORNS:
I'm sure this would make them sleep well (not only the Opium, but also 46% alcohol)!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

BEAR WARNING

To see image larger, click on it.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

DINNER DATE

Guys are all the same ............

These pictures were taken by a fellow from Grande Cache, Alberta , 1.5 hours south of Grande Prairie , by the Berland river on Highway 40 Take a look at the time frame in the bottom right corner of each picture....





















































It took Mr. Bear ten minutes from the time he picked up Ms. Bear, fed her a terrific meal, got laid, then it was time to go. This guy is good!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Saturday, February 19, 2011