contributed by Nick V.
LOVE THIS DOCTOR! !
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste
on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you
live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to
live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they
take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer
also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat
A: Well, if you have bod y and you have fat, your ratio one to
one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of
the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING!
Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get
bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!!
Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain
whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up
any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways
- Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"