Ed forgot to get his wife something for Valentine's Day....
So his wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow afternoon, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 10 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. A round 2:30 that afternoon his wife looked out the window and sure enough, there was a wrapped gift box in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, she quickly ran out to the driveway, picked up the box and brought it into house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Ed has been missing since Friday.