Thursday, February 14, 2013


These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line for a valentine:
Love may be beautiful, love may be blissbut I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

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