STUDENTS ON MUSIC

Contributed by Judy G

Maybe this is why they don't teach music in high school any more. Following are actual answers from students on music tests...

1. The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

2. Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

3. Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

4. All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

5. Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.

6. Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

7. A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

8. Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

9. Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

10. I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say.

11. Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

12. Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.