Friday, March 2, 2012


Contributed by Nick V


Dear Noah:
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving until 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Scissors:
I feel your pain. No one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin

Dear Customers:
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People:
You're Welcome!
Sincerely, Alcohol

Dear World:
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because
some Spanish speaking d-bags invaded our country and we got a little
busy! OK?
Sincerely, The Mayans

Dear White People:
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely, Native Americans

Dear iPhone:
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You
piece of shut.
Sincerely, Every iPhone User

Dear Trash:
At least you get picked up early.
Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man:
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely, Elephant

Dear Icebergs:
Sorry to hear about global warming. Karma's a b*tch!
Sincerely The Titanic

Dear America:
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Yahoo:
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it." Just
Sincerely, Google

Dear Twilight Fans:
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy
fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

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