DAMN WOMEN DRIVERS! !

Contributed by Eileen R.

Everyone reading this will enjoy it - no matter which gender you are.........

This morning on the 400, I looked over

To my left and there was a

Woman 

In a brand new Cadillac 
Doing 110 km/h

With her face up next to her rear view mirror 

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away 
For a couple seconds...

To continue shaving

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane, 

Still working on that makeup. 

As a man, I don't scare easily. 
But she scared me so much;

I dropped
My electric shaver 

Which knocked 

The donut Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying
To straighten out the car 

Using my knees against

The steering wheel, 

It knocked

My Cell Phone

Away from my ear 

Which fell 

Into the coffee 

Between my legs! 

Splashed, 

And burned 

Big Peter and the Twins, 

Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers, 

And disconnected an important call. 

Damn women drivers!