CLASSIFIED AD BLOOPERS

Contributed by Julie C.




The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:


Free Yorkshire Terrior.
8 years-old. Hateful little dog.


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Free Puppies:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel
1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog

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Free Puppies:
Part German Shepherd
Part Stupid Dog

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German Shepherd - 85lbs.
Neutered. Speaks German. Free!

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1 Man, 7 Women hot tub -- $850/offer

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Amana Washer $100.
Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.


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Snow blower for sale.
Only used on snowy days.


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2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15.


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Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box,
Comes with its own
1988 Mustang, 5L, Auto
Excellent Condition, $6,800.


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83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2,000


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Star Wars Job of the Hut -- $15


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Soft & Genital Bath Tissues
or Facial Tischue - $.89


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Full-Sized Mattress
20 Year Warranty
Like New! Slight urine smell.


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FREE 1 Can of Pork & Beans
With Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home


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Nordic Track $300
Hardly used. Call Chubbie.


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Bill's Septic Cleaning
"We Haul American Made Products"


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Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks


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HUMMELS - Largest Selection Ever!
"If it's in stock, we have it!"


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Get a Little John:
The Traveling Urinal
Holds 2 1/2 Bottles of Beer.


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Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club


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Georgia Peaches
California Grown - $.89/lb.


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Nice Parachute
Never Opened - Used Once
Slightly Stained


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American Flag
60 Stars - Pole Included - $100


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Tired of Working for only $9.75 per hour?
We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.
Starting Pay: $7-9 per hour.


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Exercise Equipment
Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175


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Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob!
And it's made of 100% Italian Leather.


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Joining Nudist Colony!
Must Sell Washer & Dryer - $300


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Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty.


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Alzheimer's Center Prepares
for an Affair to Remember


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Gas Cloud Clears out Taco Bell


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Open House!
Body Shapers Toning Salon
Free Coffee & Donuts


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Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1.99/box.


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Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Mann $2.09/lb.


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FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes - Excellent condition.
$1,000.00 or best offer.
No longer needed.
Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.