MOM QUESTIONS - 6

Contributed by Phyliss M.


Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:



What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

MOM QUESTIONS - 5

Contributed by Phyliss M.


Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:



What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

MOM QUESTIONS - 4

Contributed by Phyliss M.


Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:



Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

MOM QUESTIONS - 3

Contributed by Phyliss M.

Answers given by 2nd grade school

children to the following questions:



What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

MOM QUESTIONS - 2

Contributed by Phyliss M.

Answers given by 2nd grade school

children to the following questions:

 

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

MOM QUESTIONS - 1

Contributed by Phyliss M.

Answers given by 2nd grade school

children to the following questions:

 

 

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE BLINDS

MY FAVORITE ANIMAL

Contributed by Mike G.

 

 

 

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

 

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

 

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

 

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. 

 

He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken.

 

She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office.

 

He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

 

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

 

I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now... yep, the principal's office... sigh!

 

IT STARTS SO EARLY IN LIFE

CALL THE DOCOTR

Contributed by Steve S

 

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

 

 

It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough from their laughter for the worship service to be continued.

GET READY FOR SCHOOL

CATHOLIC SCHOOL

Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can't even begin to imagine how their mind is working....

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math.

His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers.

In short, everything they could think of to help his math.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zacharia down and enrolled him In the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zacharia came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello.

Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying.

Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zacharia was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.

To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Zacharia brought home his report Card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an 'A' in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity..

She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?'
Little Zacharia looked at her and shook his head, no.. 'Well, then,' she
replied, 'Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms?
WHAT WAS IT?'

Little Zacharia looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.'

KIDS & PETS - 4

KIDS & PETS - 3

KIDS & PETS - 2

KIDS & PETS - 1

OMG! !

SLEEP IN?

CAN'T HANDEL THE BOOZE

ANSWER THAT PHONE! !