WHY DOGS BITE HUMANS - 4

WHY DOGS BITE HUMANS - 3

WHY DOGS BITE PEOPLE - 2

WHY DOGS BITE PEOPLE - 1

CHAMPIONSHIP RINGS

Some sports 'World Championship rings' are so diamond-encrusted, they're worth more than your house. (I guess I shoulda practiced harder when I was in Little League.) Here are a few examples of championship rings from baseball, football, and hockey.





Philadelphia Phillies


Pittsburg Steelers

Pittsburg Penquins

Chicago White Sox

Cleveland Browns

WHAT DO OHIO BUCKEYES DO IN THE WINTER?

GO BUCKS!!!

Best if you maximize your screen.

YOU JUST GOTTA LOVE THOSE BUCKEYE FANS. GO BUCKS

You might ask yourself what do Buckeye fans do to get through the tough Ohio winters? Well click on the link to find out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6L-fVwcGBlU&feature=player_embedded

ITALIAN PRESIDENT FROM NEW JERSEY

Why we need an Italian president from NJ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avw0n9b2o9U

CLETUS AND BILLY BOB

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, Billy Bob performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, he lets his overalls fall down to his hips revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.

Grabbing both sides of his shirt he rips it apart to reveal his stained tee shirt underneath. With a final flourish he tears the tee shirt from his body and hurls his baseball cap over onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck are you doing, Billy Bob?"

"Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the snot out of me!" exclaims Billy Bob. Then, obviously embarrassed, he says, "Me and the old lady been having trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

HITTING THE BOTTLE

Contributed by Carol I.


Rehersal time must be huge with this group. What a hoot!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k26nt3Y4cmg&feature=related

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Click on image to see it larger.

YOUR DUCK IS DEAD

Contributed by Eileen M.

Your Duck is Dead--A lesson to be learned. Listen to your
Vet.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with
a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

WHAT AM I ?

WHAT AM I?

(scroll down)

THE OLD GOLFER

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it.. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body..

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of there."

WHEN THE PHOTOGAPHER CATCHES AN AMAZING MOMENT - 3

WHEN THE PHOTOGRAPHER CATCHES AN AMAZING MOMENT - 2

WHEN THE PHOTOGRAPHER CATCHES AN AMAZING MOMENT - 1

CHRISTMAS MUSIC FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

HAPPY NEW YEAR! ! ! !

Cont. by Mary C.


* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

* 5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Windows and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, ...

* 11. Suicidal - Over the River and Through the Woods and Off the Bridge I Go

* 12. Homicidal - Grandma Got Run Over by My John Deere Tractor

* 13. Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

* 14. Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe

* 15. Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

* 16. Social Anxiety Disorder --- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate



MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR ! !

MEN WHO LACK ADULT SUPERVISION - 5

Contributed by Polly H.

MEN WHO LACK ADULT SUPERVISION - 4

Contributed by Polly H.

MEN WHO LACK ADULT SUPERVISION - 3

Contributed by Polly H.