CALL-IN TO RADIO CONTEST

Contributed by Julie C.

I phoned the radio station today.

The presenter answered and said,
"Congratulations on being our first
caller, all you need to do is answer the
following question correctly, to win our
grand prize!"

"That fantastic!" I shouted in delight.

"Feel confident?" The presenter asked,
"Its a maths question."

"Well, I've got a degree in maths," I
proudly replied, "and teach it my local
school."

"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2
frontrow seats to a Justin Beiber
concert and to meet him back stage,
what is 2+2?"

"7" I replied.

DID I SEE WHAT I JUST SAW? - 1

Contributed by Mary R.

THE SENSATIVE MAN

Contributed by Mickey L.

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.. They get back to his place, And as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is Completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, With hundreds and hundreds of cute, Cuddly teddy bears carefully placed In rows, covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken Quite some time to lovingly arrange them And she was immediately touched By the amount of thought he had Put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along The bottom shelf, Medium-sized bears covering the Length of the middle shelf, And huge, enormous bears running All the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an Obviously masculine guy To have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, She is quite impressed by his Sensitive side. But doesn't mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and Continue talking and, After awhile, she finds herself Thinking, Maybe, this guy Could be the one! Maybe he could be the future Father of my children?' She turns to him and kisses him Lightly on the lips He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, And he romantically lifts her in His arms and carries her into his bedroom Where they rip off each other's Clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she Responds with more passion, More creativity, more heat than she Has ever known. After an intense, explosive night Of raw passion with this sensitive guy, They are lying there together in The afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently Strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well, how was it?' The guy gently smiles at her, Strokes her cheek, Looks deeply into her eyes, And says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'

EUROPEAN PLASTIC BAGS-3

Conributed by Carol I.

EUROPEAN PLASTIC BAGS - 2

Contributed by Carol I

WAL-MART UPDATE - 1

contributed by Carol I.

PHOTOS OF IRONY - 1

Contributed by Carol I.

2010 DRIVER AWARDS

10TH PLACE:

9TH  PLACE:

8TH  PLACE: 

 7TH  PLACE:

6TH  PLACE:

5TH  PLACE:

4TH  PLACE:

THE  BRONZ  MEDAL  WINNER:

THE  SILVER  MEDAL  WINNER:

 [Helmet is backwards]
................... and

finally, here is our 2010 Drivers Awards 




THE GOLD MEDAL WINNER: 

How the...?!?

Oh never mind... CONGRATULATIONS ! !

This concludes the 2010 Drivers Awards Ceremony

Thanks to all our contestants for giving us all a reason to laugh & smile.

OOOPS! ! !

Contributed by Steve S.

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.


After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

...and how was your day?

THE BACON TREE

Contributed by Rick O


Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ...every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree.

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees a ham bush...."

And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you - I know you did!

CAR JACKING

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