IRISH MEDICINE

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he
approached his assistant.

"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks:
"So, Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients.

"The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman borsts in, so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyt'ing including her bra and her knickers and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts:
'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen a man!'"

"Thunderin' Lord Jesus, Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes."